Monday afternoon, Major League Baseball came down hard on the Astros for their sign-stealing operation in 2017. The league will likely, in the coming days, issue penalties against the Red Sox-. You want to excite her. The point is to make her see how much she wants you and how willing she is to behave in order to get you. You should start by telling her, “I need to punish you.” This lets her know that you are in charge, you are not asking her, you are telling her what needs to happen next. What will happen next. You don't punish a woman that cheats on you. You must forgive or forget her. If you can't forget her (e.g.: she was your wife and you had children), then divorce her and keep contact to a minimum.
No one likes a cheater, especially in video games. Throughout gaming history, certain titles and developers have found clever, and sometimes cruel, ways of making you regret your unfair actions. Here's a list of games that uniquely punish players for being a cheater cheater pumpkin eater.
Link's Awakening brands you a THIEF
Guild Wars cheaters. Cheating in an offline game is one thing – generally morally forgiveable as the only one affected is yourself. Cheating in online games is much different though – if you cheat it also affects the people around you, making it an all-around terrible thing to do. However, his cheating was quickly discovered, and an ailing Thomas Hicks—who had been given strychnine, egg whites, and brandy during the race—was declared the winner. “Dis-Onishchenko” As the 1976 Montreal Olympics opened, Ukrainian athlete Boris Onishchenko was a favorite to medal in the pentathlon. GTA 5 players have been using an exploit to get a huge advantage in multiplayer. Instead of removing the exploit, Rockstar Games implemented a hilarious punishment for the cheaters. However, that doesn’t mean the developers don’t have something up their sleeves. Plenty of games will punish you for pirating them, rage quitting, or just being lazy. These games will punish you for cheating and hacking. 15 Dunce Hats And Car Bombs: GTA V.
Link may be Nintendo's most moral, princess-saving, evil-smiting swordsman around—but that's not to say the Hyrulean is perfect. While he is, overall, a pretty moral tunic-sporting dude, he's been known to get a case of the sticky fingers every now and again.
In the fourth installment of Nintendo's Legend of Zelda series, Link's Awakening, players who fail to resist the call of their inner kleptomaniac in the Mabe Village Shop are punished by means of a permanent guilt trip. Instead of being tracked down by the authorities or receiving some sort of physical punishment, Link's Awakening asks you, upon exiting the shop with your stolen goods in tow, if you're 'proud of yourself'—before renaming the hero 'THIEF.' At first, this new moniker is makes us feel guilty, sure. As we progress through the game, however, the constant reminder of our past crimes detaches us from who we really are. We stop feeling like Link, and feel more and more like THIEF. And that's not a good feeling.
There's no way to remove the Hyrulean scarlet letter once it's been branded. After all, you know what they say: once you go Thief, you never go back. And, for the record, you don't want to go back to the Mabe Village Shop—the shopkeeper will kill you.
Banjo-Kazooie deletes your save file
Some single-player games have little tolerance for cheating. Banjo-Kazooie is one such game.
Games That Punish You For Cheating
In Rare's classic 3D platformer, there are good cheat codes...and there are bad cheat codes. Entering legal cheats in the Sandcastle is totally fine, and the player receives no form of punishment. Entering illegal cheats, however, results in Grunty straight-up deleting your save file—but not without warning. Once you start toeing the line, Bottles justly give you a heads up to knock it off. Ignore your buddy Bottles, and you can have fun starting the game over. From scratch.
Everyone hates having their save file corrupted or accidentally deleted. But if you cheat and ignore the game's warning, then you really had this punishment coming.
Donkey Kong 64 becomes permanently unplayable
Some might sayDonkey Kong 64 was virtually unplayable, because it's a dull and tiring 3D platformer, which boils down to little more than a collect-a-thon. Cheaters, however, found the game to be literally unplayable, regardless of their opinions on the title's merits.
Users of the Nintendo 64's third-party cheat cartridge, GameShark Pro, experienced an unpleasant surprise when applying cheats to Donkey Kong 64. Apparently, using any GameShark code in the title causes Donkey Kong to experience uncontrollable muscle spasms. Furthermore, the GameShark corrupts your save file, preventing the player from picking up any item, and resulting in perpetual one-hit deaths—effectively rendering the game unplayable. Even worse, saving the game after applying a code will permanently damage the game cartridge. (Permanently! As in, forever!)
Of course we don't condone cheating, but this punishment is just plain cruel, and unusual.
SimCity cripples you with debt, or disasters
Being a mayor ain't easy—and when the going gets tough, it's hard to resist the lure of fast cash. However, like a teenager with a credit card, irresponsible loan-taking yields disastrous results.
In the classic city-building simulation title SimCity 2000, players have a variety of cheat codes at their disposal. Typing in 'FUND' during gameplay awards the player a loan, which carries a staggering 25% interest, all but ensuring the player is permanently enslaved to the banks. If cutting deals with evil Wall Street bankers isn't your bag, you can admit to being a filthy cheater by typing 'imacheat' during gameplay, adding a cool half-million to your bank account, which, despite admitting to your moral flaws, increases your chances of disasters—particularly plane crashes. If you're only looking for a quick-and-easy $250, players can type 'cass' during gameplay, though the money comes packaged with an 85% chance of having a disaster—which is pretty harsh, considering you probably can't even be able to buy a current-gen game console for that much.
SimCity 2000 all but defines the saying: 'cheaters never prosper.'
A Death Star destroys your buildings in Afterlife
Afterlife is a city-building video game in which the player assumes the role of a Demiurge, tasked with constructing and managing the infrastructures of both Heaven and Hell. In other words, if Dante Alighieri made SimCity, this game would be the result. Except, Dante didn't make this game—LucasArts did. And what good would a LucasArts game be if it didn't have a touch of Star Wars?
At any point in the game, players can enter a code and receive one million pennies — the game's currency. However, Afterlife has a pretty sweet surprise in store for those who feel the need to abuse this privilege. Cheating too many times in Heaven or Hell results in everyone's favorite planet destroyer—the freaking Death Star!—paying a visit to your city...and not for just some tea and a chat. Darth Vader's trillion-credit death moon straight-up obliterates your post-mortem locales into a galaxy far, far away.
Screw natural disasters like earthquakes, floods, or fires. Catastrophic destruction by Death Star is the punishment we're looking for.
Guild War 2 publicly shamed a notorious cheater
Generally speaking, cheaters in massively-multiplayer online role-playing games are usually banned, plain and simple. One particularly notorious hacker in Guild Wars 2, however, wasn't merely banned—he was made an example of.
After three weeks of unfairly dominating, and allegedly hacking, the game's player-versus-player competitive mode, the character known as J T Darkside paid dearly. After receiving a plethora of complaints against the character, game security lead Chris Cleary shared a video of the offending player being publicly humiliated. First, the player was stripped naked and walked to the edge of a tall building. Next, Darkside was forced to wave, before plummeting to his death. The video continues to show Darkside, as well as another character tied to the account, systematically deleted. The account was then banned.
Not everyone agrees that this public humiliation was proper. But if you ask us, the cheater got what was coming to him.
Marvel vs. Capcom 3 rage quitters must play together
Rage Quitter: noun, one who quits a competitive match in an act of rage. Nobody likes playing against these despicable sore losers, especially because rage-quitting sometimes results in the match statistics not being recorded—thus rendering the whole thing a total waste of time, and that much more despicable. Capcom doesn't take too kindly to this kind of behavior, and came up with a clever way to punish these poor sports.
In Marvel vs. Capcom 3, proven rage quitters were banned from playing competitively against those who accept defeat with grace. Instead, sore losers are only able to play against others of their own kind, resulting in some hilarious, hypothetical 'who will quit first' scenarios. This system of punishment is highly popular with the online fighting community, and is something many players feel should be implemented in all games where rage-quitting has a negative impact—which is most online games.
Nobody's perfect. We've all had our moments where we give in to the temptation to duck out of a match early in an effort to preserve our record or ranking. But there's a special place in Hell for habitual rage quitters—as well as a special place in Marvel vs. Capcom 3.
H1Z1 developer made cheaters publicly apologize on YouTube
On one fateful Monday in 2015, 23,837 cheaters were banned from the popular massively-multiplayer online survival game H1Z1: Just Survive. Daybreak Game Company president John Smedley took to Twitter afterwards to provide a creative and unique way for some banned players to regain their privileges. 'Dear Cheaters who got banned,' wrote Smedley, '[m]any of you are emailing me, apologizing and admitting it. Thank you. However.. You're doing it wrong. If you want us to even consider your apology a public YouTube apology is necessary.' This apology hit some players where it hurts the most—the internet.
More than just talk, Smedley took the banning and unbanning of players very seriously, going so far as to re-ban players who subsequently made their YouTube apology videos private. In a game all about online competition, there's no room for cheating, and Smedley made that crystal clear.
Grand Theft Auto V blew up cheaters with an unsuspecting car bomb
Rockstar once punished some Grand Theft Auto V online cheaters in the most GTA way possible.
In 2015, some shifty players found a way to bring the massively-overpowered, single-player-only Duke O'Death vehicle to Grand Theft Auto V's online mode. Rockstar wasn't about to have any of that, so they quickly resolved this exploit with a hilarious patch. Instead of having the patch simply remove the illegal vehicle, or suspending accounts, unsuspecting cheaters were treated to an exploding car bomb upon entering the unfair Duke O'Death—killing their character, as well as providing a nice little jump scare. Not only is this method of doling out punishment funny, it's both fair and playful at the same time, illustrating Rockstar's classic sense of humor.
Lara Croft explodes
Assuming you actually played Tomb Raider 2 instead of keeping it hidden under your mattress, there's a good chance you used cheat codes. There's also a good chance you made poor Lara explode.
No one is quite sure of the exact reason why Core Design's polygonal platformer featured the ability to make Lara Croft spontaneously combust. Some theories exist it was put in place to counter fake nude codes—which don't actually exist—in order to make those who entered them feel instantly ashamed. Perhaps a more plausible explanation is that the exploding Lara code was simply a punishment for those who incorrectly inputted the all-weapons or level-skip codes, which are quite similar to the combination of inputs required to make Lara burst into an array of limbs and body parts—which each subsequently explode, themselves, upon impact.
We prefer to think the developers included the code to make prepubescent boys frantically shut off their PC, hide behind their couch in shame, and never tell anyone about what happened.
News broke last week that despite a state-sponsored doping scheme, the Russian delegation would not be wholly disqualified from the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro. Instead, individual athletes’ fates are being assessed by their respective sporting federations. Those without evidence of doping, it seems, will be able to compete – a far more lenient response from the International Olympic Committee than many might have expected. Moreover it’s more lenient than the IOC’s historical counterpart, the ancient Greek Olympic Council, likely would have handed down.
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Ancient Olympians didn’t have performance-enhancing drugs at their disposal, but according to those who know the era best, if the ancient Greeks could have doped, a number of athletes definitely would have. “We only know of a small number of examples of cheating but it was probably fairly common,” says David Gilman Romano, a professor of Greek archaeology at the University of Arizona. And yet the athletes had competing interests. “Law, oaths, rules, vigilant officials, tradition, the fear of flogging, the religious setting of the games, a personal sense of honor – all these contributed to keep Greek athletic contests clean,” wrote Clarence A. Forbes, a professor of Classics at Ohio State University, in 1952. “And most of the thousands of contests over the centuries were clean.”
Video Game Cheating
That said, ancient Greeks proved to be creative in their competitiveness. Some attempted to jinx athletes to prevent their success. According to Romano, “curse tablets could be found in athletic contexts. For instance, strips of lead were inscribed with the curse, then folded up and placed in the floor at a critical part of the athletic facility.”
Judging from the writings of the second-century A.D. traveler named Pausanias, however, most cheating in the ancient Olympics was related to bribery or foul play. Not coincidentally, the mythological basis of the Olympic games involves both, according to Romano’s writing. The figure thought to have founded the Olympic Games, Pelops, did so as a celebration of his marriage and chariot victory over the wealthy king Oinomaos, spoils he only gained after bribing the king’s charioteer to sabotage the royal’s ride. The first Games are said to have been held in 776 B.C., though archeological evidence suggest they may have begun centuries earlier.
References to legendary instances of cheating have survived the centuries. A scene of a wrestler attempting to gouge the eyes of an opponent and bite him simultaneously, with an official poised to hit the double-offender with a stick or a rod, graces the side of a cup from roughly 490 B.C. In Greece today, pedestals that once held great statues still line pathways that led to ancient stadiums. But these were not statues that heralded athletic feats, rather they served as reminders of athletes and coaches who cheated. According to Patrick Hunt, a professor of archaeology at Stanford University, these monuments were funded by levies placed on athletes or on the city-states themselves by the ancient Olympic Council.
In Pausanias’ account, which is analyzed and translated in Forbes’ article, there were three main methods of dishonesty:
Games That Punish You For Cheating Gf
There are several stories of city-states trying to bribe top athletes to lie and claim that city-state as their own (a practice that continues in some form today, as the story of Dominica’s imported ski team from 2014 proves). When one athlete ran for Syracuse instead of his home city-state of Croton, the city of Croton tore down a statue of him and “seized his house for use as a public jail,” writes Forbes.
Then there was direct bribery between athletes or between those close to the athletes to influence the results. In 388 B.C., during the 98th Olympics, a boxer named Eupolus of Thessaly bribed three of his opponents to let him win. All four men were heavily fined, and up went six bronze statues of Zeus, four of which had inscriptions about the scandal and a warning to future athletes.
Finally, there were “fouls and forbidden tricks,” as Forbes refers to them. He references a fragment of a satirical play found, in which a group of performers claim to be comprised of athletes “skilled in wrestling, horse-racing, running, boxing, biting, and testicle-twisting.” Athletes were beaten with rods or flogged for fouling another player, for cheating to get an advantage, like starting early in a footrace, and for attempting to game the system that determined match-ups and byes.
And, it turns out, spectators did some cheating of their own, too. “One woman dressed as a man to see her son perform,” says Patrick Hunt. “She was caught and penalized.” Judges even ran into trouble at times. Forbes makes note of an instance in which officials voted to crown a member of their own city-state, an obvious conflict of interests. The judges were fined, but their decision was upheld. Once again, the modern Olympics haven’t been much different, for those who remember the 2002 Winter Games when a French judge gave Russian skaters high marks, allegedly in exchange for a Russian judge reciprocating for French ice dancers.
Entire city-states could get into trouble as well. In 420 B.C., according to Pausanias, Sparta was banned from the Olympics for violating a peace treaty, but one of their athletes entered the chariot race pretending to represent Thebes. He won, and in his elation, revealed who his true charioteer was. He was flogged and the victory was ultimately recorded as going to Thebes, with no mention of his name, which could be seen as an additional punishment (some records of Olympic victories have been discovered).
The modern events and global inclusivity of today’s Olympics may suggest how far we’ve come since ancient times, but scandals like the one playing out in Russia this summer remind us of what Patrick Hunt calls human nature: “We want an edge. Russian athletes may be banned from Brazil because of cheating, but people have always been looking for performance enhancing tricks.”